He knows he is, every now and then. When Bruce is away, when he benches Dick for school. While other kids try out for baseball, for track while he comes straight home (almost) every day. When they gang up on him in the hall.
But it’s nothing on being Robin. He wouldn't give it up for a second for a whole lifetime of baseball games and track meets. ]
I know Gordon too. [ Captain Gordon. ] He, um- checks on me every once in a while.
lifting an eyebrow, he makes the trade. bruce imitates dick's hold on the bat. taking up dick's previous position, he waits for the other boy to throw. ]
Who is the man you said? Who's taking care of you.
He's, uh- [ How does he keep making this mistake. ]
You wouldn't know him. He's the best, though. [ He tosses the pitch in a carefully thought-out arc; just fast enough so Bruce (hopefully) won't feel patronized, slow enough that the chance to actually hit it is there. ]
Something like that. [ Close enough. He chases the ball and dives on top of it because why not. Then he rolls back to his feet, tossing it in one hand for a moment. ]
Actually, he's more like a consultant. He helps out on the bigger cases. The ones the police can't always handle.
They, um- [ Keep it casual, keep it calm. The ball slips out of his hands instead, and he’s stuck grappling for it with clammy fingers. His eyes stay on the ground for an extra moment once he has it back. ]
They’re not around anymore. [ As if it's really that simple.
But he's lost, suddenly, for the right words. When it still hurts so much, when it'll never not hurt deep down no matter how many Zucco's he puts in jail. When he knows it's something that hurts Bruce too. Talking about it (that watch he carries...). ]
...I used to work in the circus. All three of us did. [ It's a happier memory. ]
[ that could mean almost anything. abandonment. getting lost. being arrested. except bruce is also left scrambling for purchase when he's asked about his parents. somehow nothing he can say is right, and he blurts out the first thing to come to mind — on the rare occasion he doesn't bite on his tongue to prevent something awful from coming out.
bruce lowers the bat. he doesn't need to ask what dick means. the pearls feel heavy in his pocket. when he finds words, he speaks without pity. only soft curiosity and a willingness to listen. ]
Yeah. We were acrobats. We were good too, even though we were bush-league. [ A smile tugs at the side of his mouth again before it starts to fade away. ]
We used to come through Gotham once a year. That’s when, um- [ He should stop now. ]
...Well, an extortion ring got there first. When Mr. Haly wouldn’t pay up, they made the sure the lines were too weak to hold us. Only they wouldn’t give until we were center ring. [ If he gets it out all at once he won’t need to repeat himself. Only he can tell himself that over and over again and there that awful memory will always be, with a sharp twinge of guilt to go with it this time. Bruce doesn’t need to hear about it now, wouldn't want to hear about it if he'd known what he was asking. About an awful scene he’ll see for himself one day.
But lying to him about it - about this - it can't be right either. ]
...That’s how it happened. [ His shoulders lift and then fall. ]
[ he listens without interruption, and without visible reaction. he smoothed his features while dick spoke. this was dick's story; he didn't want to disrespect dick or his trust by trying to make it about him. when he's done, bruce pulls his lower lip between his teeth. ]
...Yeah. I had to. [ He couldn't not help, couldn't stand by while Bruce did the work of catching Zucco alone. It'd nearly killed him, how desperate he'd been.
But it's the subject change that prompts a real smile. He tosses the ball again, starts winding up for that aborted pitch. ]
My mom and dad were incredible. We'd pull the nets whenever we were in Gotham. The crowd went wild every time.
[ He tosses the ball finally, an easy, slightly heavier pitch. ] We always made people happy.
[ He pulls off a dramatic mid-air dive to catch the ball. ]
Man, all over. Mostly the US during the year. But we'd always spend the winter in Europe. [ With family. As close to family as the people in the camps were. The memories he has of them are good.
He finished the elaborate turn with a curious glance at Bruce. His Bruce has been everywhere, but this one... ]
Mostly the US. [ his smile turns sheepish. ] Mostly Gotham.
We have a lake house. [ he falls into the present tense without noticing. ] It's a little outside of Gotham, about an hour, an hour and a half drive. We'd summer there, my parents and I. Alfred usually took his vacations then and he'd rejoin us after a few weeks. Then we'd drive back.
[ nostalgia paints his features. ]
There's always something to do there. And the country's beautiful.
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He knows he is, every now and then. When Bruce is away, when he benches Dick for school. While other kids try out for baseball, for track while he comes straight home (almost) every day. When they gang up on him in the hall.
But it’s nothing on being Robin. He wouldn't give it up for a second for a whole lifetime of baseball games and track meets. ]
I know Gordon too. [ Captain Gordon. ] He, um- checks on me every once in a while.
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How come?
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[ It's not a lie. It's easier when it's not a lie.
He swings again and it's a hit this time. The ball flies up and towards the wall of apartment 25. ]
Whoo! And Grayson takes it away with a homer!
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Do you still want to bat? [ he calls once he's returned, ball safely in the glove. ]
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With a little practice you'll be ready for the big leagues.
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lifting an eyebrow, he makes the trade. bruce imitates dick's hold on the bat. taking up dick's previous position, he waits for the other boy to throw. ]
Who is the man you said? Who's taking care of you.
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You wouldn't know him. He's the best, though. [ He tosses the pitch in a carefully thought-out arc; just fast enough so Bruce (hopefully) won't feel patronized, slow enough that the chance to actually hit it is there. ]
You'd like him if you did know him.
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I might. [ because he obsessively follows everything gordon does but let's keep that to ourselves. ] Is he another police officer?
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Actually, he's more like a consultant. He helps out on the bigger cases. The ones the police can't always handle.
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[ too personal, maybe, but his curiosity got the best of him. ]
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They’re not around anymore. [ As if it's really that simple.
But he's lost, suddenly, for the right words. When it still hurts so much, when it'll never not hurt deep down no matter how many Zucco's he puts in jail. When he knows it's something that hurts Bruce too. Talking about it (that watch he carries...). ]
...I used to work in the circus. All three of us did. [ It's a happier memory. ]
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bruce lowers the bat. he doesn't need to ask what dick means. the pearls feel heavy in his pocket. when he finds words, he speaks without pity. only soft curiosity and a willingness to listen. ]
Did you have an act?
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We used to come through Gotham once a year. That’s when, um- [ He should stop now. ]
...Well, an extortion ring got there first. When Mr. Haly wouldn’t pay up, they made the sure the lines were too weak to hold us. Only they wouldn’t give until we were center ring. [ If he gets it out all at once he won’t need to repeat himself. Only he can tell himself that over and over again and there that awful memory will always be, with a sharp twinge of guilt to go with it this time. Bruce doesn’t need to hear about it now, wouldn't want to hear about it if he'd known what he was asking. About an awful scene he’ll see for himself one day.
But lying to him about it - about this - it can't be right either. ]
...That’s how it happened. [ His shoulders lift and then fall. ]
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Were they brought to trial? The ones responsible?
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I mean, the- um. The guy I live with now. He did.
[ His jaw clenches a little before he remembers to force the muscles to relax. ]
He'll never hurt anybody again. [ Even if that won't ever bring them back. ]
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And you helped. [ dick doesn't seem the type to sit around any more than bruce.
a little pause, and he quirks a tiny, kindly smile. ] I wish I could have seen you perform. I'm sure you're incredible.
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But it's the subject change that prompts a real smile. He tosses the ball again, starts winding up for that aborted pitch. ]
My mom and dad were incredible. We'd pull the nets whenever we were in Gotham. The crowd went wild every time.
[ He tosses the ball finally, an easy, slightly heavier pitch. ] We always made people happy.
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[ the bat connects with a little more force this time. the ball flies toward dick. ]
Where else did you travel?
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Man, all over. Mostly the US during the year. But we'd always spend the winter in Europe. [ With family. As close to family as the people in the camps were. The memories he has of them are good.
He finished the elaborate turn with a curious glance at Bruce. His Bruce has been everywhere, but this one... ]
...What about you?
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We have a lake house. [ he falls into the present tense without noticing. ] It's a little outside of Gotham, about an hour, an hour and a half drive. We'd summer there, my parents and I. Alfred usually took his vacations then and he'd rejoin us after a few weeks. Then we'd drive back.
[ nostalgia paints his features. ]
There's always something to do there. And the country's beautiful.
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We, uh- when he's on business we end up outside the city a lot. There's never enough time to see it all.
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I'd love to see it. I'll remember if you don't.